Bono: The Evil Bastard

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FUR3jr
Number 468
FUR3jr's picture
Conspirator for: 15 years 23 weeks
Posted on: June 12, 2013 - 1:26am

 "Be seeing you!"

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent #U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet ...

"Well, fuckin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"

 


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static_free
Number 821
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Conspirator for: 12 years 4 weeks
Posted on: June 12, 2013 - 8:16pm #1

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__________________

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andrew_jack
Number 1321
Conspirator for: 9 years 48 weeks
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Number 1474
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Number 1525
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Number 1687
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andrew_jack
Number 1321
Conspirator for: 9 years 48 weeks
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Number 1331
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Number 1382
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Number 1382
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Number 1557
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Number 1654
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mothyspace
Number 545
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Conspirator for: 15 years 5 weeks
Posted on: June 13, 2013 - 6:14am #20

Be Seeing you Africa.. :)

__________________

I used to be the man. Until I decided to stick it to myself - mothyspace
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. – Edward R. Murrow
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User offline. Last seen 10 years 32 weeks ago.
Number 5150
Number 100
Conspirator for: 16 years 43 weeks
Posted on: June 16, 2013 - 2:30pm #21

Funny! I came across this one on Twitter today:

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road?

None of your business - am I being detained?"

- Stephen

__________________

- Stephen M. Smith


User offline. Last seen 10 years 32 weeks ago.
Number 5150
Number 100
Conspirator for: 16 years 43 weeks
Posted on: August 18, 2013 - 6:29pm #22

A cowboy named Bud is overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. 

 

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?”


Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”
 
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

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Within seconds, he receives an email on his cell phone that the image has been processed and the data stored.  He then accesses a database and receives a response. 

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
  
“That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud. 

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” says Bud.  
 
 “Wow! That's correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
 
 “No guessing required,” answered the cowboy.  “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked.  You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.   Now give me back my dog.”


 

- Stephen


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FUR3jr
Number 468
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Conspirator for: 15 years 23 weeks
Posted on: August 19, 2013 - 3:12am #23

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Number 1382
Conspirator for: 9 years 39 weeks
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Number 1286
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Number 1382
Conspirator for: 9 years 39 weeks
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Number 1274
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Number 1300
Conspirator for: 9 years 51 weeks
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Number 1655
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Number 1655
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Number 1382
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Number 1655
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Number 1382
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Number 1382
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Number 1380
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Number 1382
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Number 1380
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mattcoleman
Number 1408
Conspirator for: 9 years 36 weeks
Posted on: August 1, 2014 - 12:31am #42

Bono is so the Man

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Number 1319
Conspirator for: 9 years 48 weeks
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Number 1655
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